Best Communication Skills for Couples: Building Stronger Bonds Together
Communication in relationships is an endless search for the golden center of balance. Whether the relationship is in its honeymoon phase or after decades of marriage no one is immune to the struggle of mastering the art of communication. It’s the cornerstone of building a strong, lasting relationship with your partner. In this blog we will explore the best communication skills that can help you build a warm relationship that can manage any crisis.
Effective Listening - listening with “both ears”
The basic concept of active listening is theoretically easy. Look at the person who is speaking, nod or show that you are listening, engage in the conversation with questions and answers. I invite you to think of listening with “both ears” your outer ear, the one that collect sthe information that you are nodding to and the inner ear. The inner is the inner connection that hears your reaction, your emotions, needs and desires. In arguments you are searching for cognitive understanding of the other person and a deep understanding of how your are reacting to the words being exchanged.
Open and Honest Communication with Empathy - both individuals count
Similarly to the skill of listening, openness and honesty start from you as an individual first. We put on our oxygen mask first, before we help others or request things from others. First work on your relationship of emotional honesty and open exploration with yourself and invite your partner to do the same. That way two individuals can have a valid, safe space in the bubble of your relationship. This exchange of truths between two people can be strengthened with empathy. When two people know their own emotions they are more likely to look towards the other person with understanding and care.
Continuous learning and conflict resolution
The art of communication is a lifelong journey. We listen, observe non verbal queues, negotiate and renegotiate our boundaries throughout our whole life. Every stage of life can activate new desires and needs, and can bring forth new hurts and traumas. Supportive learning of one another never finishes. Can we get better and better at knowing each other - of course. But becoming proficient in the language of your loved ones means that you see yourself very clearly, and then deeply observe the other person. For this success to come into your relationship repeatedly you need time, quality time to look at one another, you need to learn each others limits through conflict and later repair. The tapestry of your relationship is learnt through deeply experiencing emotions next to one another.
Many of my clients ask if their emotions are not too much in their relationship. I always remind my clients in these situations that a relationship is meant to hold two entire people. It is meant to be a safe space where my emotions can be explored, maybe explode, after which my partner can give me feedback that this explosion was not ok. I can learn deeper why these emotions are inflamed and so reactive. A safe relationship has the amazing quality of giving us a chance to heal what our family could not give us.
In conclusion, strong communication skills are the foundation for building a supportive and safe relationship. By practicing effective listening, open and honest communication, empathy, and other essential skills, you can strengthen your connection with your partner and navigate the joys and hurts of life. Remember that communication is a never ending ride that requires focus and readiness to try from both sides. And in my opinion trying is already enough, we do not seek perfection in relationships but the feeling that this other human will be next to us with all our quirks and weirdnesses.
